Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says that - 'A Friend is an enemy and an enemy is a friend.' Confusing? He also says that in the company of your friends, you lose your centeredness. Your enemy puts you back in yourself. Put your friends and enemies in one basket and relax!
Learn how to deal with your 'Enemies' from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
What do we get upset with? We don’t get upset with the birds, or the clouds, or with nature. We don’t get upset with the environment. So, what do we get upset with? We get upset with the people around us. Our enemies upset us and our friends upset us as well. Our mind gets stuck either in our friends or our enemies. We either think about our friends or we think about our enemies the entire day.
People become our enemies even when we have not done any wrong to them. Many people have had this experience. We didn’t do any wrong to them; neither did we misbehave and still they became our enemies. This is very surprising! We think, ‘Oh! Why has he become my enemy? Until yesterday he was my friend.’ In the same way, we do not do any special favours for some people, yet they become our close friends. That is why I tell you, this is some astonishing and mysterious Karma – how some people become our enemies and some our friends.
So what should we do? We should place both our friends and enemies in one basket, and just become empty from within and be joyful. All these happenings (people becoming friends and enemies) are run by some law and we don’t know how and where it comes from. We just can’t say when someone’s feelings towards us will change and whether it will be in our favour or not in our favour. We just can’t say. That is why we should place absolute faith on our Self, on God, and not on friendship and enmity. We should not waste our time thinking about friends and enemies. What do you all think? This does not mean you distance yourself from your friends, or that you stop making new friends. That is not what I am saying. Friendliness should be in our nature; love should be in our very nature. We are love after all!
When someone comes and sits beside us, we do smile at them and exchange a few words. This does not mean you think, ‘Anyways, who is a friend or who is an enemy, there is nothing to share with anyone’, and you walk around with a gloomy face being angry with everyone – this is not a sign of wisdom. This is ignorance and foolishness. We must interact with everyone around us but at the same time be centred from within. Do you understand? When we are centred, then we will not feel sad, angry or possessive. Then we will not have disappointment of any kind. Otherwise many times what happens, we become sad – ‘Oh! Look, I made him such a good friend and today he does not even talk to me. I did so many favours for him and he has turned against me!’ By thinking all these thoughts we waste the time we have in the present. We should not do this, Okay! It is futile to search for a true friend in the world. Befriend the Truth (Divine) and the World is yours.
In the company of your friends, you lose your centeredness. Your enemy puts you back in yourself. Your friend sympathizes with you and makes you believe in matter. Your enemy makes you feel helpless and takes you to the spirit. So your enemy is your friend and your friend is your enemy!
Krishna said to Arjuna: One who is unfriendly everywhere (including himself); his consciousness is stable and awareness is established.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Why do you want to know the true nature of another person? Know your nature, that is good enough. Don’t sit and judge others, you never know! If your time is good your enemies become friends, and if your time is bad then your closest friends will behave like enemies. That is why, focus on yourself, and don’t judge others.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Identifying the enemy is the most important thing. Anything that does not let you stay peaceful and happy is your enemy. But sometimes in the process of trying to overcome this enemy, we may get caught deeper within it. Hence, at such times, it is better to pray and surrender.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, enmity is an emotion which arises in our mind. If another person considers us an enemy then that is their doing, not ours. It is their headache; from our side we don’t consider anybody as an enemy.
If it seems that somebody is an enemy, then act accordingly. I’m not asking you to go hug them or make them your own. If an enemy brings a gun, you also stay ready. If they come with bricks and stones, you also get ready accordingly. You also be ready to protect yourself. Use your intellect.
At the level of emotions there is no benefit in considering anybody an enemy. Never feel anybody is an enemy.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: No, it is not being selfish. It is being aware that there is a bigger force that guides you in your life. So when your time is good, and when your life is in the hands of that bigger force, or the Divinity, then that rules your life. This is what we need to see.
It is that one power only that comes to you as a friend, as an enemy; as everybody. When you recognize that one thing that is present in various forms in front of you, then you are at peace with yourself.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Many times those who appear to be enemies are not enemies actually. I would give you an example of what we did in Iraq. We gave some meditation and Sudarshan Kriya (An effortless breathing techinique offered by The Art of Living Foundation) to the troubled youth there. There was such a huge transformation in them. The youth minister sent 50 youth leaders to The Art of Living International Center, Bengaluru to be trained as ambassadors of peace. It was challenging to begin with, but there was amazing transformation in them in one month. The same boys went back and started to teach thousands of people, how to be calm. You know, we are not taught how to manage negative emotions neither at home nor at school. You get angry, upset, greedy or depressed, but we are not taught how to manage our mind.
I am not saying that we have solutions to resolve all the conflicts in the worlds tomorrow itself. It is not practical. But what has given us hope is, after experiencing meditation, there is enormous change in the same people who appear to be aggressive or enemies.
In 2001, there was a difficult situation in Kashmir. But things have changed now. We can make effort drop by drop. In Jahanabad also our efforts have given good results. All this has given me enthusiasm to go in all conflict zones and do more work. Though, it is a big challenge. When some people think that only they will go to heaven and others to hell, they create hell for others. We need to educate them with a broader mindset. So, every child should know little bit about all the world’s wisdom. We have globalized things like potato chips but we haven’t globalized wisdom, and education on peace and non-violence. When people are stressed, they either become violent and aggressive or suicidal tendencies arise in them. The solution for depression, suicidal tendencies, social and domestic violence is to teach them how to calm their mind. It is very important to teach them how they can get rid of negative emotions, stress, and all those unwanted emotions. How can we heal them? That healing touch is essential.
