| Botheration > QnA on Anger |
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Conclusion: Make your Smile cheaper and anger expensive.
Look, that doesn’t happen in a day and that is where all these practices can be of help. Yeah, I’m not saying be like a vegetable all the time or like a mentally retarded person, smiling or not getting upset at all, you should get angry when things don’t go well, right! But don’t ever let that anger ferment in your mind and turn into hatred. It could be momentary.
You know what is a healthy anger?
When you draw a line on the surface of water, how long does it stay for? Only that much time anger should stay, then it is healthy anger. If your anger stays only for that much time and when you have a control over it then it is healthy and you are okay. You can get angry but anger should not get you. What happens usually, anger comes and gets you, and then we are in trouble. Knowledge and wisdom is the reverse of it. Got it! You can use the knife but the knife doesn’t use you.
There is a story of Mullah Nassurudin. His son was about to hold an expensive electronic equipment and he slapped his son. When asked, he said what the fun would be to slap after it has broken! It is a sign of foolishness to be angry at something that had happened in the past. People ask me if I don’t get angry.
But at what should I be angry at? Past that has already gone!
You get angry at something which is happening in the present. But reacting to anger with anger! What foolishness! If somebody does mistake again and again, you can show anger but don’t get swayed away with that. Arogya vardhak gussa – Healthy anger is that which stays only for that much time as a line drawn on water stays.
It doesn’t mean not to show anger when someone is wrong but it is unintelligent to flow away with that.
Sadhana is to protect mind from any vikara (Distortion that takes one away from the self)
See, an illiterate mother, an uneducated mother, she doesn’t like her children going to school because the young ones cry while going to school. Then she says, ‘No, no. Ok, don’t go to school.’ They say they don’t want to study, and she says, ‘Ok, don’t study.’ Her love for her children has spoiled their whole life. Isn’t it? So, even the love of an ignorant person does harm. And even anger of a saint always does good.
There are so many stories about one sage, his name was Durvasa. In India, if someone is very angry, they say ‘Oh, he is a Durvasa!’ means he is someone who gets angry at the drop of a hat. But he would come back to normal state immediately. This is to say, don’t feel bad about yourself if you have anger.
Even a Rishi had some anger. So, you don’t have to be too hard on yourself by blaming yourself. That is just to give you self confidence. To make you feel, you are ok, inspite of your little bit anger. That is only one rare case. That is to say that enlightenment is unconditional. It is what? It is unconditional. You can’t put any condition on that freedom. Just to tell you, there is no conditioning. So it’s possible to get angry also. And, sometimes anger can also do good.
sing. If you get angry on your husband/wife, scold them by singing. Opera singing is even better. See if you can do it. (He sings a couple of lines... You stupid, what did you do to me and everyone breaks into laughter)
If possible take a guitar and sing with it. It must be very interesting. Some people will become musician like this. Anger comes when you go out of certain rhythm. And, music is bringing that rhythm back. Antidote for anger is music, exercise, karate, martial arts.... You know martial arts have to be done without anger.
In Bhagvad Gita, Lord Krishna says to Arjun, "Arjun, fight but not with anger or hatred." Now, anger does not take permission before coming. Dont regret anger. Its ok to be angry with children. If you don't get angry at them, they become so weak in the world.
They cannot take criticism. They become weak. You should know the limitation though. You
know how much salt should be put in the food. How cold or warm, your finger will tell you. As parents, dont feel guilty for scolding your children. Thinking that way you become stressed and are preparing yourself to get more upset or angry.
There is a story of Mullah Nassurudin. His son was about to hold an expensive electronic equipment and he slapped his son. When asked, he said what the fun would be to slap after it has broken! It is a sign of foolishness to be angry at something that had happened in the past. People ask me if I don’t get angry. But at what should I be angry at? Past that has already gone!
You get angry at something which is happening in the present. But reacting to anger with anger! What foolishness! If somebody does mistake again and again, you can show anger but don’t get swayed away with that. Arogya vardhak gussa – Healthy anger is that which stays only for that much time as a line drawn on water stays.
It doesn’t mean not to show anger when someone is wrong but it is unintelligent to flow away with that. Sadhana is to protect mind from any vikara( Distortion that takes one away from the self).
Just be natural, easy and relax. Take things as they come and move forward. Don’t get stuck in a place. The mind plays so many tricks to keep you miserable. Sing, meditate, serve. Be part of service. We have to save our mind.
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